Letting Go of “Bounce Back” Culture After Birth: Embracing the Fullness of the New You

In our culture, there’s an unhealthy expectation that new mothers should “bounce back” immediately after giving birth. Celebrities seem to have babies and then show up two weeks later on a red carpet, glowing, slim and styled. Ads and social media push us to “get back into your jeans” as if that’s the ultimate sign of health and success after birth.

Here’s the truth: Postpartum isn’t about bouncing back. It’s about becoming. A whole new identity. A whole new life.

A NYC Story

As a birth doula, I’ve supported many mamas through their transitions into motherhood. One particular client comes to mind.

She was a 27-year-old first-time mama living in NYC. Very fit and prepared — physically, at least. When I went to visit her just two days after she came home from the hospital, there she was, wearing jean shorts. She looked amazing.

But even then, I knew: Looking great doesn’t always mean feeling great. In fact, it takes about 18-24 months to heal internally after birth.

Outwardly, my client seemed to have done everything “right,” and her body bounced back quickly — or so it seemed.

Sixteen months later, she gave birth to her second baby. But this time was different.

There were complications. Her body hadn’t fully recovered from the first birth. She was exhausted, depleted, and this time, there were no jean shorts in sight. What she needed wasn't a quicker recovery — it was permission to embrace the healing process.

For a woman who becomes a mother, part of the healing process means embracing the fullness of her transformation.

The “Fit Mom” Myth

Many mamas worry about losing the “baby weight”. While it’s true fitness supports your health during pregnancy and postpartum, losing weight shouldn’t be the goal. The goal is healing. The goal is bonding. The goal is becoming the mother your baby needs — and the one you need to be.

Restricting your food intake or calories is misguided and can be dangerous, especially if you’re nursing. Did you know you actually need more calories and fats for milk production so you nourish your child?

If you’re making healthy choices and staying active throughout pregnancy, it’s likely you’ll continue to make healthy choices postpartum, and eventually lose the weight you gained.

Plus, nature is wise. Chasing after a toddler is one of the best fitness programs for a mama! Be patient and kind with yourself.

If you can, have someone prepare you nourishing, nutrient-rich meals in the early days postpartum. Meals that are warming and easily digestible. Whenever possible, use fresh, organic ingredients. Allow yourself to fully replenish.

The First 40 Days: A Sacred Window

In many cultures, the first 40 days after birth are sacred. This time is devoted to healing, rest, bonding and being cared for by others. The mother is nourished and nurtured, emotionally and physically and protected so she can recover and bond with her baby.

In contrast, in the U.S., the pressure is to be up, out and back to “normal” almost immediately. Without federally-mandated parental leave, some women actually do need to be up and about soon after birth. No wonder maternal perinatal mood disorders — like postpartum depression and anxiety — affect around 20% of mothers here.

If you can, stay home and stay quiet, with your baby for the first 3-6 weeks after birth. This gives you an opportunity to learn how to care for your baby and yourself. Rest is the way to support your healing and recovery and set yourself up for a healthy future. If you don’t have family and friends to support you during these early days, consider hiring a postpartum doula.

The Need to Move: Reframed

I understand the desire to move again after birth. Movement can be empowering — and necessary without be aggressive. Gentle breath work is a powerful way to begin reconnecting to your core, your pelvic floor and your center. Walking is another wonderful first step — literally and metaphorically. It lowers stress, soothes anxiety and gets you and your baby some fresh air.

It’s not about burning calories or “getting your body back” though. It’s about connecting with yourself and your child.

Embracing the Fullness of the New You

The truth is: There’s no bouncing back. Instead, you’re moving forward, stepping into a new stage as a woman. You’ve gone through a monumental transformation — physically, emotionally, spiritually. Your pelvis has widened. Your heart has expanded. Your lifestyle has changed and your relationships have shifted. Your body tells the story of that transformation.

This isn’t about losing your old self — it’s about embracing the fullness of your beauty now. Your softness. Your strength. Your intuitive wisdom.

Let go of the unrealistic (and unhealthy) idea of “bouncing back.” Let your new self emerge. Trust the process. Celebrate the journey, by allowing yourself to be present, every breath of the way.

You’re not who you once were — you’re someone even more powerful. A mother.

Whether you’re pregnant or newly home with your baby, if you want to learn more about how you can honor and support your entrance into motherhood safely, click the button below.

Whether you're seeking doula care or yoga for postpartum recovery, I’m here for you, Mama.