Are You Giving Away Your Power?

Let’s get real. No one is delivering your baby. When you give birth, people may be witnessing, supporting or assisting—but no one can deliver what’s yours.

Can we please stop calling it “labor and delivery”? Why does L&D still exist in hospitals?

When I think of the word “delivery,” I picture packages showing up at my door from Amazon, or the occasional flower bouquet. In business, goods and services are “delivered” in exchange for money.

So why are we using this same word to describe a sacred, transformative experience like birth?

A Step Back in Time

Let’s talk history for a moment.

Back in the 1950s, in the U.S., women giving birth were drugged, strapped down and stripped of their agency. Male OBs assumed control, and midwives—who recognize birth as a normal, natural and empowering process—were pushed aside. Instead of embracing their primal power, women were laid out on operating tables, semi-conscious, and coerced into surrendering their authority. This era, known as “twilight birth,” marks a time when much of our collective birth wisdom was lost.

Fast forward to today: Even though 85% of OBs practicing now are women, the patriarchal structures of the past continue to shape the way we give birth. Why hasn’t the medical profession updated outdated words, practices, and mindsets?

Every time we use the term “labor and delivery”, we perpetuate a system that has long stripped away the power of the woman giving birth.

Dismantling the Patriarchy

It’s time to ask ourselves: Isn’t it time to dismantle the patriarchy?

Words are powerful. They shape reality. They reflect how we see the world, and how we see ourselves. So, why are we still using language that undermines our strength and beauty as women?

As a doula, I know that a woman in labor is at her most intuitive, her most powerful. Why are we labeling this moment with a term that essentially strips her of the reverence she deserves? And instead of offering her space, grace and a peaceful environment to labor and birth, we subject her to beeping monitors and restrictive rules. Doesn’t this feel like a metaphor for how society has suppressed the chaotic, creative, generative power that is uniquely feminine?

It’s no surprise that, in a society where women’s power is regularly minimized and marginalized, a predominantly male court recently stripped us of our agency by overturning Roe v. Wade. By tolerating disempowering language, we permit a culture where our rights and our power are undermined to flourish.

Language Shapes Our Reality

Why does language matter so much? Ultimately, it shapes our reality. Our words shape how we view the world, how we see ourselves and how we give our power away—or claim it for ourselves.

The language of birth is a reflection of this—our power, our choices, and our agency. If we keep using language that diminishes birth to a “delivery,” we keep reinforcing the idea that it’s something that happens to us, instead of something we create.

Reclaiming Our Power

It’s time for a shift.

We need to choose words that affirm our beauty, power and sovereignty. It’s time to let go of the outdated language that serves the patriarchy and embrace the vocabulary that empowers us.

Begin with awareness.

What words are you using? How are you speaking to yourself? Are you using language that lifts you up or holds you back?

“Notice your words, they become your thoughts.
Notice your thoughts, they become your actions.
Notice your actions, they become your character.
Notice your character, it becomes your destiny.”

No one is delivering your baby. Begin to speak your truth and see your own strength, you will know—deep in your bones—that only you can birth your baby.

What phrases and perspectives can you let go of to create the birth you desire and deserve?

What You Can Do

As you prepare for birth, claim power by using language that reflects the magnitude of the shift you’re undergoing and the life you’re carrying. Use language that reflects your power. Your OB, your doula and whoever else makes up your circle of support - these are women who believe in YOU and your ability to birth in your unique way.