Creating Space for Stillness and Ease Amid the Chaos

Our world is full of noise, especially for a new mom. Beginning in pregnancy, it seems like everyone has an opinion about what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Social media posts can also be misleading and sometimes even harmful. Living in constant noise adversely effects our nervous system as well as our ability to think clearly. Without silence, an overwhelmed and exhausted mom tends to react, rather than respond.

Tuning out the noise is essential for our health and wellness.

Learning to turn down the external noise is necessary for a new mom. When you do, you’ll reduce stress and anxiety and begin to experience greater relaxation while learning to listen to your intuition.

Learning how to tune out, to tune in.

Without silence, our brains and hearts don’t function optimally. Research shows that excessive noise adversely effects cardiovascular health. In his book In Pursuit of Silence: Listening for Meaning in a World of Noise, George Prochnik notes that the peak of brain activity occurs in the pauses between sound. It’s in the silence between words and thoughts that connections are made and where insights and integration are possible. Viktor Frankl, Austrian psychologist and neurologist and author of Man’s Search for Meaning tells us, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our responses. In our response lies our growth and our freedom". 

Create Space

Ancient practices point us in the right direction and offer a path to peace. When you create space physically - in your schedule and your home - you’ll notice that the mind chatter begins to quiet, and it becomes easier to tune out noise.

The process often evolves slowly over time. That’s why beginning during pregnancy is helpful. Then, once baby arrives, you have a solid foundation with self-care practices in place and firm trust and confidence in your abilities and intution.

First Clear Space to Move

Clear the clutter and find room to move - whether it’s at home, a gym or outdoors. Conscious, mindful movement helps alleviate common aches, like lower back pain and tight shoulders, that often come with pregnancy and postpartum. It also relieves stress. It releases stress hormones like cortisol while producing feel-good hormones like endorphins. Trying desperately to quiet a chattering mind without moving first can often provoke anxiety. 

Then sit

It’s only after you’ve moved, once your body has been well exercised, can you find quiet and stillness. BKS Iyengar says, “When you cannot hold the body still, you cannot hold the brain still. If you do not know the silence of the body, you cannot understand the silence of the mind. Action and silence go together.” (Light on Life, p.32)

Learn to still your body to still your mind.

Beginning to listen

The practice of sitting is the next step, and requires patience and stamina. First, sit - comfortably and quietly - regularly and consistently. Observe your breath to help you steady your mind.

For a new or busy mom, it can feel nearly impossible to find time to explore these practices. Look for small pockets of space, time when you can move mindfully, explore breath awareness and/or sit for meditation. Sometimes, multi-tasking will help. If you’re nursing, you can explore a breath practice and both you and baby receive the benefits of relaxation and healing. Playing with toddlers can become an exercise in mindful movement. Even if it’s only for a few minutes each day, over time, you’ll begin to notice a positive benefit.

Over time, you’ll begin to recognize the various thoughts and patterns. Reserve judgment. Over time, you’ll learn to let your thougths come and go, without creating stories around them. You’ll begin to cultivate equanimity which in turn, brings calm, peace and stillness. 

And find stillness . . . maybe

By cultivating quiet, we become better listeners, and can honor and tune into the space between words that are spoken. As a mom, you’ll learn to actively listen to yourself and others. You’ll learn how to reserve judgment, especially as your children get older. Ultimately, these practices help you embody the loving, nurturing and compassionate presence only you can give to your children.

Stick with it

At first, you may not notice the benefit of creating the time and space for these practices. You may even feel frustrated. With consistent practice though, you’ll build stamina. Eventually, what you’re modeling for your children will serve them well.

When you do these practices, you’ll discover ease, joy and confidence, helping you to think clearly, breathe easily and act with kindness. And isn’t that the world in which you want to raise your children?