Transforming Language for a Safe and Empowered Birth
Language shapes reality. That’s why, in order to improve birth outcomes, childbirth preparation needs to address this.
How do you feel about your body?
For generations, women and girls have been influenced by external forces that have conditioned us to compromise our worth and our value. A mis-belief in our capabilities is embedded in our culture, despite strides made in recent decades.
The media leads us to believe, for example, that our bodies are somehow defective. A mama on a fertility journey can easily begin to adopt this mind view. Negative self-talk erodes a woman’s self-acceptance, love and confidence.
While midwife Ina May Gaskin rightly tells us, “Your body isn’t a lemon”, too often a pregnant mama worries that her body, and more specifically, her pelvis isn’t capable of birthing her baby.
But how you think and feel about your body is central to your experience.
Pregnancy is an ideal time to (re)examine any negative perceptions you have about your body so you can release them. Some perceptions are probably conscious. But further introspection can reveal subconscious thoughts and feelings that could ultimately undermine your ability with birth with confidence.
The practice of going inward is a worthy, noble and necessary pursuit - for your sake and the sake of your child.
Because language shapes your birth experience, emotions and identity as a mother, it also lays the foundation for your child’s identity and self-expression. The language you choose is equally as important as how you care for your body.
Are you choosing to be kind, gentle and loving towards yourself?
The Language of Maternity Care
Having confidence in yourself and feeling safe is key for a positive birth experience and fortifies your trust in your ability.
However, the language of our maternity care system often reinforces negative conditioning that disempowers birthing women and is routinely accepted - without question - by professionals as well as patients. Most of us don’t even recognize it because it’s deeply embedded into the culture.
For a glaring example, take the word ‘delivery’. It goes unquestioned, as if your baby is being delivered like an Amazon package. It strips you of you agency, authority and power.
How You Can Assert & Embody Your Power
Only when we examine the language we use personally and as a society, can we begin to shift the narrative.
We can’t expect to have positive birth experiences when our words continually reinforce deficiency or inadequacy through disempowering language.
With awareness, we can make a change.
During Pregnancy
Examine your subconscious thoughts and programming and notice if you get to make any changes. Neuroscience tells us that it’s possible to rewire your thoughts, and a trained professional can help you do this.
Transform harsh thoughts you into words of affirmation and gratitude. In fact, this is good for your baby - who can hear, from about 16 weeks.
Practice Affirming Your Self
Speak mantra aloud, particularly upon waking and just before sleep, when your subconscious is the most impressible. As you re-program your thought patterns, you’re also letting your baby knows she’s safe.
Sample Pregnancy Mantras
My body is strong and I am capable.
I birth my baby with ease.
Baby, we’ve got this!
To support yourself, initiate conversations with your partner and your care providers so they can be sensitive to your needs. Be patient and unapologetic if they need reminders along the way. Change is a process.
“To change the world, we must first change the way babies are being born.”
During Labor and Birth
At a hospital, you could hear phrases that erode confidence like “failure to progress” or “labor has stalled.”
It’s important to remember birth is a process that takes time - which is why you want to stay home as long as possible, where you can labor without “being on the clock.”
In cases like these, it’s helpful to have a doula for support, reminding you of your power and to guide you so your mind, body and baby can work harmoniously with the process.
Sample Mantras for Labor
My labor is taking its natural time.
Baby, we’re working together, and we are safe.
Slow and steady.
Some childbirth methods, like Hypnobabies, change the language and imagery of birth to support a positive experience. Since only you know what language is supportive for you, task your partner or doula to share this with nurses and others at the hospital.
During Postpartum
Early postpartum is a time when gentle, encouraging and affirming words for yourself are essential - especially if you’re feeling raw and vulnerable.
When family and friends are focused on baby, remember that you are powerful. Giving birth is extraordinarily momentous - no matter how you birth.
Sometimes this is overlooked, particularly in the case of cesarean birth when a mama hears, “At least baby’s healthy.” This phrase, while often well intentioned, dishonors a mother’s journey. In cases like these, it’s helpful to have a postpartum doula who can support you - physically and emotionally.
“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
It’s Up to Us
As women and mothers, it’s up to us to shift the narrative.
First, by raising awareness. Then by shifting how to we speak to ourselves and about our experiences. From there, we can dismantle the corrosive conditioning we’ve inherited. From there, we can begin to create a kind, loving and gentle world for our children.
To learn more about how you can reframe your thoughts and empower your pregnancy and birth, click the button below.